The great chair debacle of '09. Based on true events.

Gem the reporter got a new job. And her replacement, Rory, started work with a chair that doesn't quite work. Something that Gem had been living with for a while, we have to suppose. So, Samantha, the newsroom fixer lady, tries to "fix it" by giving her Mim's chair, since Mim wouldn't be in for a few days and then requested a new chair for Rory in the meantime. Well, IT, in charge of getting the new chair, was out sick for a while and didn't get the request. So when Mim is about to come back to work, Samantha finds a stray chair and puts it at Mim's desk, hoping that she would never know and the problem would be solved.

Wrong.

Mim comes to work and sits down in her chair and soon finds that it doesn't quite work. "My chair is broken!" Mim says. Well, Samantha, sheepishly, and in my opinion stupidly, starts with ... "Funny story ... " Well, Mim did not find the story funny at all. "I want my chair! She stole my chair!" she announced as she ran into the editors office. Editor says, "So take back your chair." And she rushes over to reclaim her property. Luckily, Rory was not at her desk. That could have been an ugly scene indeed.

Once again, Mim has her rightful chair and Rory is without. Mim is terribly sorry for all the ruckus and feels badly that she got so upset but Editor just wants her to work. "Just work" he says.

Samantha still needs to find a new chair for Rory. She realizes that Dick won't be in for a few days and hopes that IT will be back in time to replace Dick's chair. A day or two later, no IT, no new chair, and Dick is on his way in to work. Samantha and Editor prepare for a scene. Editor offers his chair, but alas, he is held up at work and Samantha won't meet her chair change-out deadline. Dick is due any minute. So, since Ivy is out for a few days, Samantha borrows Ivy's chair and hopes Dick will be none the wiser.

Enter Dick.

Dick sits down and starts working and is surprised that his chair isn't working right. Samantha starts, "Funny story ..." I cry out to her,"No! Don't do it!" But it is too late. Dick is furious. "Where is my chair?" he cries. "I want MY chair!" So, Samantha is standing there, unsure what to do. "Well," she starts, "I suppose Derby won't be in for a few days ..." I stand there, incredulous. I can't believe my ears. This has to be stopped. This musical chair debacle of deception, anger and despair needs to be stopped! "Wait," I cry! "I am about to leave for the weekend. Dick, after the weekend you won't be in until Wednesday, right? Take my chair. We sit next to each other, I know mine works, it only makes sense." Blank stares from the crowd. "Hopefully," I continue, "IT and Editor will be able to replace it by Wednesday." A sigh of relief from everyone but Dick. "Do you have germs?" He asks, seriously.

I defuse the situation by saying that I had just that day sanitized my chair (which I had) and Dick finally concedes. Fast forward and it is now that ominous day of Wednesday and Dick does, in fact, have a brand new shiny chair. IT came back and replaced the chair and HOPEFULLY everyone will be happy.

One can only hope this is the end of this harrowing tale.

The end.