Organization. FAIL.

If you are reading this blog, you know me well enough to know that I am sooooo unorganized. I probably don't know where my sunglasses or my insurance card are off the top of my head. I have a very precarious system that is basically my memory. I have a pretty good memory so I can narrow down somethings whereabouts fairly quickly. But just because I am unorganized doesn't mean that I like it. I wish I was organized. I see how quickly some people find things and how neat their houses look and I dream of a tidier me. Sometimes this yearning pushes me to the point that I attempt it. This usually ends in ice cream and/or beer. Because I get frustrated and sad.

This weekend, I was alone. That is usually bad news. I tend to way over schedule myself for times like this because I can't stand the thought of being bored. Saturday I stayed busy, even had to cancel with some people because I wore myself out. But Sunday ... I stayed in the house all day with the intention of cleaning. It is not that I am not "good" at cleaning. When it comes to wiping surfaces, mopping, vacumming, etc. I can clean with the best of them. I just can't pick up the clutter that stands in the way of getting the real cleaning done.

Clutter is like my kryptonite. I walk into a room that has stuff lying all over it and I seize up and panic. I don't know where to start. I don't know how to start. And it is always made worse because in my life, nothing has a place. It isn't like I can just put everything in it's place. Because there isn't one. There may be an ...area. But even that is wishful thinking. And all of this stuff that doesn't have a place I am just confounded by. Because, it is not like I have super strange objects that have no logical place. I did once upon a time. I used to have boa's and swords and oversize boxing gloves. But that was high school. I have grown up and now my things are normal. Books, magazines, jewelry, shoes, etc. No matter where I put these things, it always seems ... wrong. And messy. And the mess takes over my life!

Our friend Rachel hired a professional organizer to come in and organize their house. First of all, when did that become a job? Not that I should care since I am distinctly unqualified for it. Secondly, IT IS BRILLIANT. Maybe ... just maybe, if it were organized for me I could upkeep it. But who am I kidding. I couldn't. I got past some of my fears yesterday and organized my closet. I didn't quite finish. It got the best of me. But it is a good start and I have to say it was very pleasant getting ready for work this morning, everything having a place and me knowing where that place was. But I am fearful. Because I know that lurking in the near future is the chaos. It is coming for me ...

Side note: The one area of my life that I am super organized in is my email. I can't stand for messages to sit in my in box. Nothing stays there once I have read it. It gets put into a folder or the trash. I keep emails for about a year and then purge them. I just have to figure out how to do that with the rest of my life ...