Hi, my name is Tina from Connecticut.

I like to think that I am not a "mean girl". Mostly because I think that they give all girls a bad name and I can't stand being around them. You know the kind of girl I am talking about. The ones who make catty comments on what someone is wearing or how attractive they are and generally have the attitude of thinking they are better than everyone else. I wasn't really popular in high school, so I think there is a very specific attitude and lifestyle that I associate with "mean girls". And I do realize that I myself become judgmental (a symptom of a mean girl) when I decide that a girl is in fact a "mean girl". But honestly, everyone judges to some degree so I forgive myself.

There are a few friends that I have though, that really bring the mean girl out in me. My worst offense of being a mean girl was at a concert in Atlanta. We went to go see this indie band no one had heard of and at the last minute this British pop star decides she wants to do an after show at the same venue. It was really annoying because the bands didn't exactly jive and you knew EXACTLY who was there to see which band. It was like following Nine Inch Nails with Miley Cyrus, only with fewer opportunities for pedophilia. Anyway, I was a little drunk and annoyed that all these preppy kids were in the audience and there was this kid (and he was a kid, like 18 probably) standing in front of me in a white polo, bleached hair spiked up, and his COLLAR POPPED. This was in the height of the popping the collar frenzy. Now, I was with a friend who is the WORST at turning me into a mean girl. I won't name names. So I say to my friend, "I dare you to tell that kid his collar is up." She looks at me with wild eyes of inspiration and taps him on the shoulder. Whispers something in his ear, and then gives me THE look. It is worth mentioning that this friend is very pretty and generally, guys bend to her will. I can't help but bust up laughing. So, the poor kid actually puts his collar down after lamely trying to explain that it is on purpose. I felt bad. Even drunk and annoyed as I was, I knew we were making this poor kid feel so uncomfortable. Collar guy moves away from us. So later, the show is over and we walk across the street to Kroger, killing time until we are sober enough to drive back to SC and we whip around this corner and a few aisles away we see collar guy. And, in all my drunken wisdom, I yell, "Hey, look! It's collar guy!" And I get pulled down the aisle by my friend, laughing hysterically.

Now, don't get me wrong. It was really funny at the time. But I realize that I was being EXACTLY the kind of person that I HATE. And I am not proud of myself for acting that way. I do, however, maintain one mean girl caveat that I hold onto and cherish.

My friend Lindy and I decide one night that we can pinpoint people, right upon meeting them, that we won't get along with. Again, judgmental yes, but, most people probably think that of people with facial tattoos, and I just happen to feel that way about people that have their initials embroidered into everything they own (and it is probably polka dotted and pink at the same time). I am a bit more open minded these days, and wouldn't rule these people out this way, but I still like to think of them as Tina from Connecticut. We decided that the most boring person we could imagine would probably be named Tina and would definitely be from Connecticut. (Now, before you go crazy and start defending Connecticut, I have since met very nice people from there and changed my position, but at the time I knew no one interesting from the state and couldn't think of any great contributions to society from them.)

But this, again, is where it gets kind of bad. So, when we meet someone that we think of as a Tina from Connecticut, the verbal cue is to say, "Hey! You remind me so much of my friend Tina from Connecticut!" And the other one would agree or disagree saying something like, "Oh, no, she looks nothing like Tina!" or "OH my GOSH! You are so right!". And the person, who we already have decided we won't like, is none the wiser. Yep. It is mean and petty and cruel. And I am ... sorta ... not proud of it. We didn't actually use it very often, once or twice, maybe. But we still laugh at the theory of Tina from Connecticut. I suppose this is my way of coming clean. Admitting my sins and absolving myself of the guilt. Sort of makes me wish I was Catholic...